What does Courtesy have to do with Project Success?

What does Courtesy have to do with Project Success?
By Sean Alexander

On an overnight flight to Geneva a couple weeks ago, I found myself unable to sleep. The cabin was dark, quiet and conducive to pondering the great questions of life. Having accomplished that, I found my mind wandering to a recent conversation with a friend. We had been discussing the apparent loss of common courtesy in daily life. We wondered if anyone even bothers to teach it now-a-days. It seems that wherever we go, not only is there no time for it, but it doesn’t even seem to be a consideration. To put it another way, common courtesy isn’t so common anymore.

Initially, this may not seem to be much of a concern for the smooth operation of a project, but it is vitally important. Courtesy is expressed in many different ways. Certainly, there are the little common courtesies of “Please” and “Thank you,” of holding a door for the next person—whether male or female, young or old—or of letting someone merge into our lane. But there are some critical courtesies that have immediate impact on project success.

The time to tell someone that we cannot meet a promised commitment is the moment we know; not after we miss the deadline. The opportunity to help a less confident colleague is when they are struggling; not after they have failed. The time to tell a stakeholder that they cannot have a cherished outcome at a reasonable cost and/or within a reasonable time is up front, at the beginning of the project; not after they have invested considerable resources. It is the courtesy of honor. It is the courtesy of truth. It is the courtesy of respect.

Such courtesies reach their zenith* when we have to bring unwanted news, or deliver devastating pronouncements, or drive unpopular change. The normal desire is to delay, to sidestep, to ignore the dreaded task. But the needed results mandate action; sooner rather than later.

* It was Thomas Watson, Sr. (IBM’s original driving force) who said, “Really big people are, above everything else, courteous, considerate and generous—not just to some people in some circumstances—but to everyone all the time.”

When we fail to tell the team that a 10% reduction in force has been mandated, we dishonor ourselves and disrespect the team. Like removing a bandage, decisive speed beats a tentative attempt. The team knows times are tight. They know that something has to give. They don’t want it to happen, but they know it has to. Hesitation to make the needed cuts not only drives the project toward failure, but it lets down those who are to be let go. They need to know, as soon as possible, that they are headed for major adjustments in their lives; perhaps greater than they have ever faced before. We can’t help them move forward if we are holding them back. We show them the courtesy of respect when we treat them like adults, and let them begin to heal today, rather than tomorrow.

When we hesitate, over and over and over again, to fire the team member who can’t contribute fully, we reveal our own insecurities and do nothing to help the employee who should be in a different job, frequently at a different company. That person usually knows they aren’t performing as needed and they tend to wonder why the falling ax is falling so slowly. We can offer them the courtesy of truth. We can be straight forward with them. We can show them, should have shown them, the evidence of their non-performance and failure to fix it. We can show them that they can no longer contribute to the project. We can show them how to get through it all. Normally, they will land on their feet, in a job more suited to their unique talents and abilities. The sooner they get to that job, the better their life will be. We can show them a little courtesy and help them make the needed transition.

When we fail to lead from the front on critical initiatives we fail the test of courage, and we leave our team to wander aimlessly; disillusioned and disappointed. As often as not, the failed initiative is actually a leader’s failure to courageously guide a team through the often wrenching changes required to introduce a new process, to successfully invigorate a tired product, or to learn and embrace a new cultural imperative. Finding and engaging that courage is as much a courtesy to the team as is any other.

Courtesy. Whether common or not, a little bit goes a long way. By offering the best of ourselves to our team members, we create an environment where courtesy thrives. Where commitments are sacred. Where leadership does not hesitate. Where courage is common. On that Vital Edge will honor, truth and respect flourish.

To Your Vital Success,

Sean Alexander

To comment on this article, click here.

To subscribe to The Vital Edge, click here.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

Sean Alexander is President of VitalThought, a boutique consulting company that focuses on Results-Based Management. His monthly ezine, The Vital Edge, helps executives, project managers and team members discover project and personal success with results-based strategies and tactics. If you're ready to energize your projects and yourself, investigate the possibilities at www.vitalthought.com.